Let’s talk about: Insecurities
Yes, those nasty little insecurities that we all have.
Whether they come from the past or the present, we all have them. From being
told we were “too chubby” to wear a two piece swimsuit when we were kids, to
realizing you were picked for the sports teams because you were the big girl
and others thought you’d be able to protect them, being lied to, a stranger
yelling out an insult for no reason, to being rejected by a boyfriend,
girlfriend, love interest, etc……Whatever the case: we’ve all got ‘em!
Sometimes these are made worse depending on the personality
we have: Are you a self-loather? A self-destructive type? One that depends on
the opinions of others? Or are you the type that hides deep emotions under
layers of confidence? Whatever type you are (and I know there are many others),
one thing remains the same: a simple comment, a little white lie, a truth told,
emotion expressed (or not expressed) can bring down that shield of confidence
that you’ve spent so much time and effort in building up, in just one swoop.
That easily. In just a few seconds, you went from feeling the most confident
that you have, to feeling the most insecure that you ever have in your life.
And what a terrible feeling.
And from what? From a negative comment someone posted on
your Instagram picture? From someone hollering out “fat-ass” to you at the
grocery store? Or from your boyfriend/girlfriend not noticing the extra time
you took just to look a little extra special for them? Or are they insecurities
that come from people from their past? You know the types – the ex-girlfriend,
the forever negative best friend or the over-bearing relative that just won’t
seem to leave them alone. Or one of my own personal favorites: A stranger in a
store telling you (Yes, this really happened to me) that “you’re already so
undesirable with being overweight, why add to it with tattoos?” Any of these? All
of these? Or some variation?
For some, it’s quite rare that more than one of these will
happen. But for others, especially those that put themselves or get thrust into
the public eye, any of these can be daily occurrences. So first you have to
realize (and trust me I know, easier said than done): None of these listed
negativities have any direct relation to you. Hear that?? They stem
from others’ insecurities. It has very
little, to nothing to do with you. Let that sink in for a second…….because
the truth is: people say horrible things to others just to make themselves feel
better and your significant other may have not noticed your spicy new outfit
because of some issues he or she is dealing with and just hasn’t expressed it
to you, and that intruding relative/ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever-the-hell-else,
just keeps coming back because they’re either insecure about the situation in
the present or they’re deliberately trying to interfere and they are clearly just overstepping
boundaries. Well, whichever situation you’re in, just know that anything that
causes you pain, is not okay – so be clear, let your opinion be known, express
what you’re feeling, because otherwise, how will anyone know? Now if it’s a
stranger, then just ignore it, because
you shouldn’t value opinions from those that you don’t care about. Just know that if you’re doing your best, then
any of these things happening, are not your fault. Steer clear from the
thoughts of “Was I really looking inappropriate for that lady to say
something?” “Is it my fault that he or she feels the need to intrude?” “Am I
really too fat to be wearing this?”
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