A love found.

I never thought I’d find a love like this – let alone think that I’d ever deserve it. 

Backstory: I didn’t date much, didn’t actively seek a partner, had those beer induced nights yakking with girlfriends about how terrible the local pool of guys to choose from was……..and I was comfortable with the idea that I’d be single for quite some time.

But then I found love.  Only catch?  He was from the other side of the globe.

My initial thoughts: How would this ever work?  How could I ever afford to fly there on a regular basis?  Would he come here?  Does he really love how I am: emotionally, physically and otherwise?  All of these insecurities rolled in…..Now I know these could be common concerns/questions with ANY relationship, but trust me, they’re amplified when you’re thousands of miles away from the other.  Well, it turns out that when you really love someone and those feelings are reciprocated, you make it work. Not easily and you’re really not all that sure how sometimes…..but you make it work. 

So that was it. That was all I needed to make the journey to South Africa. Well, a 3 week vacation turned into a longer stay. Like 6 months longer. We made our own life: I got a job, became his right hand man on set, I introduced him to some American traditions, I spent my first holidays outside of the US and he decorated for the first time for the holidays (crazy right?!)….Although, I suppose being an American, going overboard for the holidays is just in my blood.  But we had a life together. We both had the dream of living and working in Europe, we figured within the next year or two. But then came the opportunity to fly home to the states much sooner than we were able to afford. So we thought: Why the hell not?!  So he sold and got rid of most of his belongings:  a car, apartment, some equipment, basic house belongings, etc. We flew to the good ole USA and have been here for 3 months. A tough transition from the South African life as with my work in the US, I have less free time and an unpredictable schedule. But again, we made it work.

Now his 3 months is up here and he leaves me in 3 days. To Amsterdam. Another country away and we don’t know what’s going to happen or when.  He’s going there all by himself to setup a life for us so we’re able to travel back and forth between countries, but the toughest part is: I don’t know when I’ll get to see my love. I don’t know when I’ll get to kiss my love. I don’t know when I’ll get to hug my love. And as I tear up just in writing this, I feel the slight heartbreak all over again – the same feeling I’ve felt for these last couple weeks just knowing that we’ll be apart for more than either of us care to be.

I’m now in the process of selling most of my belongings from my old place in the states, just to save up every last dollar I have so that I can at least visit Brett in Amsterdam. And he’s of course going to be working like a dog to save up for the same. If only money grew on trees……or if it didn’t cost more than college tuition just to take a plane ride.

So now you know. Although being an international couple is exciting, because you’re sometimes awarded different opportunities for travel that others aren’t……..it’s much tougher than you’d think. The constant not-knowing can be a real heartbreaker. But I’d do everything all over again and wait the rest of my lifetime just to be with my foreigner <3