#InstaCouple

Yes, I am in love. Head over heels, happily spinning in circles, lost in the moments, love.               

FAQ: How did you guys meet?

The real story? The scoop on how we met? Well for the longest time I wanted to keep it quiet, not for any reason other than I’ve always been a private person and I’m not crazy about folks poking around in my personal business. Only a few folks knew the whole story.       

But the truth: About two years ago, he found me on Instagram. It just started very innocently with him liking my photos, and then gradually leaving comments, and then I noticed he was really paying attention to not just the photos, but the details within the photos. I was instantly hooked! I found him to be the most handsome man I’d ever seen and quite the sensitive soul, which I found completely refreshing. So we started having small little conversations between each other’s photos, sharing preferences, taste in music, films, etc. Basically things you’d discuss on the first couple dates. About eight months after these teeny communications, he got up the courage to ask me for my email address, asking if we could chat outside of Instagram…….I had a couple thoughts running through my mind: I thought, wow, how freaking adorable (right?!)……and the second thought: Finally!! ;)  As, if I’m being perfectly honest, many of the photos I’d shared after I noticed I’d gained his interest, were for him. All for him. I wanted to share certain things with him, let him see little details of my life;  and that was my only way of sharing at that time.

Then the emailing started – which quickly turned into scheduling Skype video chats. Honestly, it really didn’t take long to realize that he was the right one for me. I’m an incredibly skeptical and cautious person when it comes to my feelings already and there are few that I truly trust…….so I just knew. I’m still not entirely sure, but I did. He mailed me loving postcards every day, sent me flowers from time to time, tried to show me bigger parts of his life through our little video chats and just wanted to know everything about me. And I just wanted to know everything about him……as never before in my life had I been so taken, so charmed by another person.

FAQ: But what was your life like before you met?

Answer: My life before our beginning interactions? Honestly: I worked a lot, worked on my Bachelor’s degree part time, so I spent most of my time at home. I’ve always been a home-body, so I spent a lot of time reading, cooking, browsing movie/book stores for little finds, took jogs to the park, antique shopping, etc. Basically: a lot of shopping, coffee, movie watching and working. I never made a great attempt to date anyone, let alone look for anyone to date; there was never anyone that caught my eye. I lived a very basic, quiet and quaint life.

So fast forward about 4 months of video chatting every single day. Yes, there were only rare cases where we didn’t get to video chat daily, but we made it a point EVERY SINGLE DAY to make the effort to at least call one another. So after this constant contact, I realized…..Huh, I have some vacation time built up…I have some extra cash….and I think he really is the one for me. So: why the hell wouldn’t I plan a 3 week vacation to South Africa?!?

When I told him, holy moses…….I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard someone so excited before in my life!!

Now keep in mind: I’d never been out of the country, let alone traveled by myself except a short business trip. But I was ready! I’d made up my mind and it didn’t matter to me whether “it seemed like a good idea” or not. 

FAQ: But weren't you worried that he wasn't who he said he was?

Answer: Yes and no. At some point after speaking with someone, you either have a gut feeling that they’re a decent person, or you don’t. It’s that simple. The reality is there is always a chance (no matter how long you’ve known a person or how well) that someone ends up not being what you expected. So I was taking the same chance that everyone else does in a “normal” relationship, the only difference is that it came with a larger than normal price tag.

So then came the day(s) of travel to see my love; flying all the way from Washington State to Johannesburg, South Africa. Cripes was it a long couple of days! I was the most nervous that I’d ever been in my life. In my head, I had such a clear idea of how everything was going to go….how I’d greet him, how we’d leave the airport hand in hand, all of that! Well, my nerves got the best of me. Just in walking to the greeting area, I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin, not knowing how he’d react, how he’d feel upon seeing me….

Of course, I’m greeted by the widest grin I’d ever seen in my life, the most handsome face and the biggest hug. Me, however? In that very instance, I had no idea how to react. I’d never gone out on such a limb for anyone that had caught my eye. I froze. Simple as that. I can’t imagine what he was thinking, as I felt so outside of myself, but it was a bit of a crippling feeling: finally being in the same room, the same space as a person that’s already shown you so much love. I couldn’t explain it!........But after the nerves had faded??  Bliss. Pure bliss. To finally find, know and understand love is one of the greatest things we’ll ever have the opportunity of experiencing.

So where does that leave us now? Well, I decided to stay in South Africa with him for about 6 months. We got to work together, live together, just be a normal couple. And it was absolutely wonderful. Then he came to the states with me, saw some American sights, but then (due to the obvious passport issue) he had to leave. But we decided to take a greater leap this time and send him to Amsterdam for him to pursue some work options, apply for his citizenship, then….? Well, who knows. We’re an unmarried couple, unsure of where our next ‘home’ country is and try to refine our life plan as every day passes. He’s busting his bum in Amsterdam and I’m doing the same in the States. And we just have to take one day at a time.

FAQ: When are you going to see each other again? Why don’t you guys just get married so you can live in the same country? Are you going to fly to see him or is he coming back to the States? 

Answer: Seriously, this marriage question gets a little old after a while.  Yes, this is a topic we’ve discussed……and our answer? Marriage isn’t something that we’d like to just ‘plan’. We’re romantics: it should happen when it’s meant to, in its most organic moment….not just for the sake of making our geographical dilemma easier. Sounds silly? Well, it just wouldn’t mean the same if it were for any other reason. And who knows who’s going to fly where first. We’ll just have to sit and wait until the best opportunity arises or until we see a clear sign of what should happen! It’s a painful, pain in the ass waiting game. And yes, we’re both very sick of it already.

FAQ: What’s the hardest part of an international/long distance relationship? 

Easy: Not getting to be with or around your partner. Not getting to really know what their day was like. Not being able to lend any real comfort or support when there’s a bad day. Not getting to be a freaking couple. Not getting to show or share your love with them on a normal level. Not getting to celebrate when good things happen. Not knowing what the future really holds for you two. And the absolute worst, kick in the chest, air from your lungs part? Not having any idea of when you get to see each other again. Weeks, months, who knows. It’s truly a killer.

But I can never stress this enough: It’s all worth every migraine, every tear, every emotional breakdown, every worry, every hour spent working, job searching, home searching, every penny spent, every work permit application, every night spent alone, every single moment.