Just stop.

For some reason, it is the natural tendency of humans to relay their disapproval to someone that is leading a life that they don’t agree with. Whether it be for their physical appearance (body size, haircut, body modifications, style, etc), general attitude, sexual orientation, a new relationship, parenting skills, career choice, or anything else under the sun.  And sometimes, no matter how hard one can try to please these people, it’s just never enough.  The reality is that EVERYONE seeks approval from others in many different ways. Everyone wants to feel successful or worthy from those they surround themselves with, so blatant disapproval or discouragement from our close circle can be like that one Jenga block that makes the whole tower come crashing down.

So why do people put others down?

Well this can happen for many reasons. Whether they disagree with one’s lifestyle choices because it doesn’t align with theirs, or they believe you’re making “a huge mistake” and are trying to help you avoid it, or it’s something they’ve hoped to do or achieve, so they try to stop you for pure jealous reasons, or they’re just an intruding asshole that doesn’t know their limits, it doesn’t matter……..the bottom line? What others think of you doesn’t matter. As long as you’re happy and satisfied with your choices and they don’t harm others, then nothing else matters. Now I get that the part about “not harming others” can be understood in many different ways, so let’s break it down:

Sometimes when you make certain decisions, others claim “This hurts that you would do this to me” or “Your decisions affect me” or “Why would you do that, you know that hurts” or “I thought you were different” and on and on and on. Can this be true? Yes, absolutely. But how someone else interprets your actions and allows your actions to make them feel, is completely up to them. Not you. Yes! That is correct : You can control and learn to change how others’ actions affect you and make you feel.  “BUT HOW” you say? Think about it: Does this action directly affect you? Is this person honestly doing this to hurt your feelings? And the most important: Why do you actually feel so hurt by this?  When you begin to answer these questions honestly, then you’ll begin to understand how to control these feelings and possibly (hopefully) even learn to accept these “HEARTBREAKING, CRAZY, RADICAL, IRRESPONSIBLE” decisions other people make.

OR

In the simplest, most basic, blatant terms:  Yank your nose out of other folks’ business.  It’s truly that easy.  If it bugs you, quit digging for more information.  If your ex-love being with someone else bothers you, then quit following their entire being and move on with yours.  If someone’s appearance disagrees with your values, then quit looking! Really folks, I promise, it’s that simple.

Because we all deserve to be happy, we deserve to be free, we deserve to express ourselves in any way we see fit.  We deserve to lead the lives we desire.  We all struggle, we all judge and we all do things we’re not proud of.  But why would we want to deter someone else from what could be their happiness just because we don't agree?

Don’t crush another person’s happiness just because you haven't found yours. You’ll find it. Because you’re it.