Self love vs. Self objectification

I have a pretty terrible long term memory, but what I do remember from my childhood, was my family's largest emphasis on how we were as people. How we treated people. How we talked to people. How we could help people, because: How we were as humans was more important than how we looked as humans.

With that in mind, I had a few thoughts rolling around in the ol' noggin......

So as I was sitting here going through my Instagram and Tumblr feed, passing by all of these photographs of women's body parts, naked bodies, women posing in such a way to make themselves look thinner, sucking in their guts, others showing the world all their glory, women in lingerie, boob shots, butt shots, selfie's and duck faces. Sigh. So many photos. So many tags like #bodypositive, #selflove, #plussize, #effyouimpretty, and the list goes on. So many picture captions of women slandering other women, men, society, 'the man' and saying they're pretty regardless of what anyone thinks. Saying that their body size doesn't define their worth. Women stating that these nude and provocative photos are their "contributions to the movements". My thoughts? So much confusion.

Yes, I'm proud of what I look like, of who I am, I'm comfortable with myself, and genuinely do love myself with everything included. And yes, I've put myself out there before, I have no issue sharing......as why would I? But I've noticed a pattern forming with a lot of these feeds that appear to be promoting "self love". What is it? A little bit of self-objectification. Look, it's okay to be vain, it's okay to brag, it's okay to do whatever you want. But to stand on a platform of self love, while promoting feminism like it's a new thing, preaching about how hard it is to be plus-size AND a woman in today's world, all while promoting and posting sexually explicit photos/videos and state in them that it's for some kind of female movement. Am I the only one that has had a "Whaaaat?" moment with these? I mean honestly. Oh, but how is this objectification? We are using our bodies as a tool to sell an idea. Honey, real love doesn't need convincing.

Because 'self love' encompasses your whole being. Not just the outside.........which, in case we weren't all aware, our body is just a shell for what lies inside. So if you're seeking approval or attention or honestly think that you're going to learn how to love yourself by how many likes you get on your IG pic, I'm so sorry, but you'll be very disappointed.

And if part of the idea is to help make our culture more integrated with the others, not such outsiders in media, and help gain fair treatment as women, then why do we absolutely need to profess the label "plus size" every time? I'm also white, American, have a passion for pottery and would consider myself a feminist. But that's not necessary to mention in every conversation as not only is some of it obvious, but it's not pertinent information needed to exist as a human being.

So here's an idea: Why not take these pictures, explicit or not, for ourselves? Of course there's nothing wrong with sharing them, but there doesn't have to be a motive or expectation behind them. We don't need to sell the idea that we're "just as beautiful", "just as sexy" as anyone else. You are the only one that needs to believe it, the only one that needs to see it. And i'll be damned if I sell the idea to my nieces, my future children, or anyone else listening, that their appearance is leverage for acceptance, love and equality. Our contributions to the world, to these movements, should be in helping others realize the same...

....That just like any other love, it isn't just a surface thang.