A few facts about being a fat woman.

Lately I've been thinking quite a bit about being a fat woman in today's society. Not just fat, but my experiences specifically as a fat woman, most recently. 

Here are a few points:

1. No matter what you wear, no matter how covered up or how revealing you dress, there will always be both positive and negative comments and feelings towards you. Truthfully, a large majority of the comments are very positive. A majority of the negativity is just in how people look at me. My answer to this? If there is always going to be negativity no matter what, then wear whatever the fuck you want. Make yourself happy.

And just another point on top of that......this also holds true in regards to what you eat. No matter how healthy or unhealthy it is. Point being?  Eat whatever the fuck you want.

2. There's no 'right' way to be fat/body-positive. If you enjoy taking silly pictures that happen to enhance a 'fat attribute' take them. If you promote/support smaller sizes more than plus sizes, cool, do what you want. Obviously the objective is to be positive and kill some of this negativity. But the wonderful thing about having a brain, is that you can be however you'd like. Be however the fuck you want to be.

Yes, surprisingly this is an actual issue in the Body Positivity community. There are some women I have encountered that consider themselves to be....well, "leaders" of this community. They have taken it upon themselves to critique women in this community on things they shouldn't say, types of pictures they shouldn't take, etc. They've made very public examples out of women just being themselves. Here's the problem with that: this is the year 2014. This community that we are allowed to voluntarily be a part of, does not come with a specific set of rules. This community does not have a set of "leaders" that are in place to tell us how to be. And making an example of someone and publicly shaming them goes against everything that this whole movement is about. It's one thing to question the meaning behind some messages, but ladies, can't we all just get along? Let's stop being so damn critical of each other for cripe sakes. Let others be how they wish to fucking be.

3. Even though I've always been fairly confident in myself and with how I look, I still have my bad days. Bad days when I feel uncomfortable with myself when I've fluctuated in weight, I tend to feel generally uncomfortable and just very unsatisfied with how I look. Bad days when I feel self conscious about my current situation and what seems like a lack of direction in my career. But you know what, it's okay to have these bad days. It's okay to contemplate major life decisions and not know what the right answer is. But eventually you figure things out, whether it's the right time or not. Moral of the story? Go for it, whatever the fuck it is. Whatever makes you happy.

I've got much of the same pros and cons as anyone else. My life as a fat woman is much like the life as any other person. Sure there's a few other twists and turns here and there that may differ, but it's much like any other life. My life isn't about hating myself because of my size, it's not about food, it's not about not being able to find love (in case you haven't noticed, I've landed the best fella), it's not about my journey to losing weight, and so on and so forth. I'm a woman, that happens to be fat, I'm not a disease that needs to be cured. It's that fucking simple.